the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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