my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
NoShamevember. You game?
This is my gift to your gina
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm too high and old for this...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
