planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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