Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
