I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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