he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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