She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I can't turn off my feet"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
