im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
