I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
