I want to have your abortion
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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