I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize