OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
