She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
