You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just had sex on a roof
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm sobbing to NWA
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
