i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
