therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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