I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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