its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
