I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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