One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
