I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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