For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
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