You work out of a Hotel?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
