One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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