He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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