My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
