She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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