You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
