Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
