a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
