My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I think I just sharted jello shots
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
