is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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