I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
