i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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