Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Don't make out with my wife yet
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
