They should really pass out barf bags in church
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
This is my gift to your gina
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
