can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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