Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
