Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
