i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
