Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
