but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He kissed a someone with a penis
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
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