he shaved USA in his pubs
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
