Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Is it because I queefed?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize