Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
this just has baby written all over it
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize