Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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