y did u give ur computer a hand job?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
