every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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