it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just want nice things and good sex
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Randomize
