I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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