oh god the rape fog is back!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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