i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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