Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize