Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize