Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize