I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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