Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Liz is crying about burritos again.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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