If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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