We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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