When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
