I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
