That's when you crack a 10am beer
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
