we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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