I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
