things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
