Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
