you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
