Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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