Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
